The First Fight
by despreble
Summary: Stef and Lena's first fight


Stef sat in her car and cut the engine. She let out a deep sigh. On the other side of the front door she had work to do. As much as she hated that on the nights that she worked the late shift she didn't get to see Brandon at bedtime, tonight, she was glad that he would be asleep when she went inside. She and Lena had fought this morning and if truth be told it was their first real fight.

The first time they were fighting about something substantive, where a cute endearing look from the other hadn't been enough to fix things. The first time they had each seen another part of the other, a part perhaps that was not so easy to love. Stef's head hurt as she tried to figure out how to proceed and what she realised sitting in the car waiting to go back inside was, that in a way that it never had before when she fought with Mike, her heart hurt too. Her heart hurt from empathy for her partner who she still believed was wrong but who she understood was coming from her own place of true conviction.

Rubbing her temples she exited the car and made her way to the front door – their front door. They had only moved in six weeks ago. It was a small two bedroom house with plenty of faults but in the six weeks she had shared it with Lena she had never felt so at home. As she approached the front door Stef noticed there were no lights on downstairs. Although it was late this was still unusual. Despite Stef's protestations on the nights she worked late Lena always waited up for her, sometimes she would find her working on papers from school, sometimes she would be curled up watching a movie, more often than not she would be sleeping on the couch but she would startle awake when Stef came in. She would look at her then with a love in her eyes, and a relief that the cop had made it home safe from another shift and Stef would gently scold her for waiting up. Lena would sit with her sleepily as she reheated some food and then they would go to bed and snuggle up close.

Tonight it seemed was going to be different. There were no lights on downstairs. She made her way to the kitchen and opened the refrigerator - no sign of leftovers. Stef grabbed a yogurt and sat at the table wondering about what she would say to Lena in the morning to make things right given she had obviously already turned in for the night.

Stef made her way up the stairs and stopped at Brandon's room. The soft night light illuminated the pale green room. The characters from his favourite books looking down at her from the walls that Lena had painstakingly drawn the weekend before they moved in while Brandon was with his Dad. Stef had watched on in admiration both at Lena's artistic talent but much more at the devotion this woman already showed towards her son. Lena understood that Stef was still processing her feelings of guilt at having robbed Brandon of what she had always been raised to think of as a normal family. So Lena was doing everything she could think of to make sure the boy was happy. Stef smiled as she watched her son sleep peacefully clutching the rabbit Mike had bought for him in the hospital gift -shop the day he was born.

"Who's this?" Lena had asked him the first night she went with Stef to tuck him in. "Rabbit" Brandon had replied shyly as he released the stuffed toy from his grasp and placed him a little distance from himself. "I don't need him" Brandon had quickly followed up with in a voice that lacked any conviction. Stef cocked her head to the side and looked at her son questioningly. He had slept every night of his life with Rabbit, why was he denying his importance. "My daddy gave him to me" the small boy offered. "Mm hmm" Lena had replied softly sensing Brandon had something on his mind and wanting him to feel he could speak. "But we live with you now, not with Daddy so I don't mind if you don't want me to have him." Stef was sure she felt a piece of her heart break as the words left the boy's mouth. She heard Lena stifle the gasp that made it to her lips and when she looked at her she saw moisture glistening in the corners of her beautiful dark eyes.

"Brandon sweety, I would never ever want you to give up Rabbit. You love Rabbit just like you love your Daddy and that's exactly how it should be. Just because you and your mom and I live together now that certainly doesn't mean that you need to feel any differently about your daddy or about Rabbit" The boy smiled gently and gingerly reached out for the stuffed toy tucking it securely under his arm. Lena leaned forward and kissed his forehead. "Goodnight Brandon" she whispered before kissing the rabbit too "Goodnight Rabbit" she echoed. Stef had fallen a little more in love with her that night.

Stef kissed her son goodnight and pulled his door closed before making her way towards her own room. She turned the knob gently expecting darkness and a sleeping Lena on the other side. Instead the bedside lights were on, and Lena lay in bed reading a book. She didn't look up as Stef entered. In fact Stef would remark in later years, she did everything in her power not to move her eyes from the page in front of her.

Stef went and sat on her side of the bed her back to Lena as she contemplated her next move. The stillness from her partner's side of the bed was eerie. Lena was clearly waiting for Stef's next move. Stef felt a panic rise up in her chest. The silence was killing her. The pressure to say the right thing was overwhelming. She squeezed her eyes tightly shut and began to speak. "I know you believe you were right this morning and that I'm wrong and honestly I'm not sure how we resolve that particular issue. But I know I want to. I know I love you and that you feel hurt and I hate that I made you feel that way and I want to fix it but I don't know how to do this"

Stef heard Lena close the book and set it on the night stand. "Do what?" enquired Lena. "Fight with someone who goes silent. I need you at least to talk to me." "I hate confrontation" replied Lena "I don't want to fight with you but I'm not ready to talk to you"

"Ok" Stef sighed as she got up and went to the bathroom to get ready for bed. When she returned the lights were off and Lena lay on her side facing away from Stef's side of the bed. Stef mirrored her pose and laid there for a moment worrying about what it meant that they couldn't resolve this before they went to sleep. The words of warning not to go to sleep on an argument resonating in her head. Then she felt it. A subtle weight in the middle of the bed. Could it be? She stretched out her hand behind her and met Lena's. Her fingers entwining with Stef's quickly, a gentle squeeze reassuring that this was going to be ok. Stef squeezed back sighing her final sigh of the day, understanding once again that this thing she had with Lena was truly special.


End file.
